Just Because We Can

dear twinny,

i miss you so much. i wish you could have stayed. could have held on longer. i know you couldn’t.. i don’t think there’s anything any of us could have done but it’s so hard without you. and the thing is i’m still kinda mad. mad that you lied and hurt because that breaks my trust and now you’re not here to talk about it with. you’re not here to get my trust back or to explain why or to here for me to figure out if there were other things you lied about. now i’m filled with doubts. i don’t really know that you loved me. i guess you did but it’s so hard to believe. it’s so hard to understand. and everything has just become twisted and complicated in my mind. i can’t sort my thoughts out anymore. it’s not even that i’m mad at you. i’m not even thinking of you every second now but everything around me has changed and i’m sure it’s because you’re gone. i can’t stand anyone. i can’t stand myself and everywhere i go i want to hide and run. but i have no where to run to and you have left me here to try to figure it out by myself. i’m angry and distant and cold and frankly, i’m slowly giving up. you were my other half. how can i deny that now? i can’t. i wonder what you’d think of how i’m acting. i hope you’d forgive me. i’m just so lost. and i miss you. i miss you so so much. why did you go? did you have to? i hope you knew that i loved you so much. i hope you knew.